Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
