Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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