yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
