yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
