i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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