bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize