babies were throwing up all over the place
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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