Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize