He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
