i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize