Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
