wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
