Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize