I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
In America we eat man semen.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
