That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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