my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
