at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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