Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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