I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
