when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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