Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
