TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize