Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
