I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
