The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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