i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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