I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
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