Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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