I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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