I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
