are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
