she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
