so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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