I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
