So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
