Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
