and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize