Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
