R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
