she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
