is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
