Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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