oh god the rape fog is back!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
