You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
