I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
what day is it and did you see me today?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
