gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize