if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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