i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
