You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize