Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
