as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize