is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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