Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
