it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I am midnight drunk by noon
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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