For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize