Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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