Whod you bang
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
