he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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