Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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