About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
