in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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