and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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