Will you blow on my dice?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
