I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize