tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
