matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
