Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
