I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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