is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
