she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
