If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
