This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You've changed since you got that strap on
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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