My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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