i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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