My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
