I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
